HAPPILY MARRIED? FANTASTIC!

You are so blessed… keep up the good work! Be grateful. Communicate about everything. Nourish the marriage daily – don’t skip a day!

We at DPTC are SO happy for you, and we wish you the best! Because we care and love your marriage, we need to say this: NO ONE goes into a marriage thinking that major problems, or a divorce, would ever happen – however, breakups are still happening at an alarming rate. Divorce Proof This County exists to help people eliminate divorce and its causes, most of which sneak into a marriage so slowly that we fail to notice. We pray that you will be on the lookout for them.

PREPARE NOW, so that when trials come you can respond properly instead of reacting. INVEST THE TIME NOW to learn how to minimize some of the trials and to properly handle the others. LEARN and CHANGE as necessary (today’s society will surely NOT tell you how – and you CERTAINLY can’t get much good guidance from secular television or other parts of today’s society!)

• What God has joined together, let no one split apart. (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9)
• God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and provides only two allowable reasons for it. (However, the causes of those two should be pre-avoided in the first place.)

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Solidify your Successful Marriage;. Put it THIRD in importance. Yep, THIRD.

1. Get to know God – He invented you, invented marriage and its guidelines, and created the world. He is the foundation of it all, so skipping this step in order to pridefully be all tough and “D.I.Y.” is stupid. Common, but stupid. He created you for a purpose, and “You” – your stuff, your pleasure, your winning, is not the purpose. IT’S NOT ABOUT HAVING THE PERFECT MATE; IT’S ABOUT ACTIVELY STRIVING TO BECOME THE PERFECT MATE. Click here for a list of helpful materials >>
2. Not only did He invent you and invent marriage, He also gave us a lifeline – a clue – His instruction manual – the Bible! Shed all the old “Well, I was brought up this way, I’m an adult now, and I ain’t changing. Learning and changing ended after high school” crap. It’s not helping. All your problems, and all the world’s problems, are solved in that owner’s manual; why aren’t you reading it? PRIDE (and its minion, unmet expectations), SELFISHNESS and UNFORGIVENESS are poisons. You gotta let ’em go, friend.
3. Commit to treat your spouse and the marriage covenant as more important than you, and expect nothing in return, even when boredom and the 7-year itch set in. (this sounds terribly countercultural, but it is true.)
4. Children: you love them. You’re proud of them. You want the best for them. You want them to succeed, and many want their kids to “have an even better life than you did.” Really? Really? If you do, then you’ll provide for them a proper LEGACY: A consistent loving example of “how to treat a spouse, how to do life day-to-day, how to be kind, unselfish, and patient, and how to act once they’re your age” – NOT by putting your needs above theirs, NOT by smoking, swearing, gossiping, or drinking in their presence, and NOT by badmouthing the other parent in front of them. If there is dysfunction in your family and in your upbringing, YOU be the one to BREAK. THE. CYCLE.
5. In fifth place comes everything else…hobbies, friendships, activities, work, sports, and everything else. You name it; it belongs out of the top 4.

BECOME A HIGHER QUALITY MARRIAGE PARTNER. 

Resources:

• The Bible (Pick an easier to read version, such as New Living Translation, New American Standard Bible, English Standard version, or New King James Version.  Where to start? See a good, Bible-preaching pastor – or talk to us.)
• “True Spirituality” by Chip Ingram
• “The Resolution for Men” by Kendrick and Kendrick
• “Weird” by Craig Groeschel
• “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan
• “Five Moral Fences” by James MacDonald
• “True Woman 101: Divine Design” by Kassian and Demoss
• “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
• “Different by Design” from Grace to You (www.gty.org)
• “Five Lies that Ruin Relationships” by Chip Ingram
• “Overcoming Emotions that Destroy” by Chip Ingram
• “Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships” by Chip Ingram
• “Your Money Counts” by Howard Dayton
• “Swipe Right (The Life and Death Power of Sex and Romance)” by Pastor Levi Lusko
• “Act Like Men” by Dr. James MacDonald
• “Five to Thrive: How to Determine if Your Core Needs are Being Met” by Dr. Kathy Koch
• Movie: “Flywheel”
• Movie: “Courageous”
• Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships, by Frank Minirth and Paul Meier
• Not Marked: Finding Hope and Healing after Sexual Abuse, by Mary DeMuth
• Every Man’s Battle, Revised and Updated 20th Anniversary Edition: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time, by Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker

GREAT MARRIAGES DON’T JUST HAPPEN. THEY ALWAYS TAKE WORK. BUILD YOUR MARRIAGE TO LAST. START NOW (IT’S EASIER NOW. IT’S HARDER LATER.) 

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

Resources:

• www.markmerrill.com
• www.marriagerevolution.com
• http://familyfoundations.org/ (family financial counseling organization)
• www.focusonthefamily.org; call 1-800-AFAMILY for counseling
• www.familytalk.org
• “The Fulfilled Family” by John MacArthur
• “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas
• Devotional: “Devotions for a Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas
• “Married. Happily. (Secrets to a Great Marriage)” by Greg Laurie
• “Questions Couples Ask” by Les and Leslie Parrott
• “The Art of Marriage” from Family Life Publishing
• “Choose to be Happily Married” by Bonnie Jacobson
• “Building a Marriage That Lasts” by Dr. James C. Dobson
• “The Surprising Secrets of Highly, Happy Marriages” by Shaunti Feldhahn
• “Rekindling the Romance” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
• “Building Your Marriage To Last” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
• “The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted” by Gary Chapman
• “Money and Marriage God’s Way” by Howard Dayton
• “Experiencing God’s Dream for your Marriage” by Chip Ingram
• “Improving Communication in your Marriage” by Gary and Barbara Rosberg
• “Building your Marriage” by Dennis Rainey
• “Kingdom Marriage” by Tony Evans
• “Marriage Matters” by Tony Evans
• “You and Me Forever (Marriage in Light of Eternity)” by Francis and Lisa Chan
• Daily Devotional: “Moments Together for Couples” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
• “Making Love Last” by Laura Taggart
• “Marriage That Works” by Chip Ingram
• “A Couple’s Guide to a Growing Marriage: A Bible Study” by Gary Chapman
• No More Perfect Marriages: Experience the Freedom of Being Real Together, by Mark Savage and Jill Savage
• How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage, by Milan and Kay Yerkovich
• The God Empowered Wife: How Strong Women Can Help Their Husbands Become Godly Leaders, by Karen Haught and Jerry Cooley
• Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, by Dave Carder
• “House or Home: God’s Blueprint for a Great Marriage” by Chip Ingram
• “Debt-Proof Your Marriage: How to Manage Your Money Together” by Mary Hunt

MANAGE THE TRIALS AND PROBLEMS.

Resources:

• “Forgiving Others – Joining Wisdom and Love” by Timothy S. Lane
• “Two Fleas and No Dog” by Craig Hill
• “Save Your Marriage in Five Minutes a Day” by Bonnie Jacobson
• “Winning Your Wife Back Before It’s Too Late” by Gary and Deborah Smalley
• “Four Secrets to a Forever Marriage: Marriage Tops from a Not-So-Perfect Husband” by Michael Letney
• “When The Flame Flickers (Rekindling Intimacy In Your Marriage)” by Tim Jackson
• “Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story” by Ken and Joni Earackson Tada
• CD set: “Finding Healing through Forgiveness” by Chuck Swindoll
• Movie: “Fireproof”
• Movie: “War Room”
• When The Man You Love Was Abused, by Cecil Murphy
• Love Letters from the Edge: Meditations for Those Struggling with Brokenness, Trauma, and the Pain of Life, by Shelly Beach and Wanda Sanchez
• Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration, by Cindy Beall
• Marriage Undercover: Thriving in a Culture of Quiet Desperation, by Bob and Audrey Meisner
• Every Man’s Battle (Workshop)
• Women in the Battle workshop (Women in the Battle is designed to help women who have been hurt in relationships with men who are or have been involved in pornography, sexual addiction or adultery.)
• ‘No More Perfect Marriages’ Conferences – www.seminar.jillsavage.org
• Men in Midlife Crisis, by Jim Conway
• Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis, by Sally Conway
• Death of a Hero, Birth of the Soul: Answering the Call of Midlife, by John Robinson
• The God Who Sees You: Look to Him When You Feel Discouraged, Forgotten, or Invisible, by Tammy Maltby
• Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today, by Larry and Kathy Miller